10 Reasons Why the Village People Haven't Had a Recent Hit

1. Most platform shoes are now only located in 3rd World countries.

2. Stiff competition from the "Be All You Can Be" commercials.

3. 8 track tapes break too easily.

4. The Policeman accepted an offer with the SFPD.

5. The Construction Worker refuses to pay union dues.

6. The dry cleaner refuses to accept the Indian's head dress.

7. The band never appeared on the Hee Haw show.

8. Newest member, the Computer Hacker, refuses to dress up.

9. If their income level increases, they would become ineligible for food stamps.

10. The Yasser Arafat cameo is delayed by U.S. customs.